🌿 Stepping Into My Feminine Energy: A Season of Healing, Balance, and Becoming

For the first time in a very long time, I’m realizing just how disconnected I’ve felt from my whole, true self. The version of me who once pushed through anything the relentless go-getter, the woman who handled everything because she had no choice feels tired in a way that goes far deeper than physical exhaustion.

Something in me is shifting.
Something softer.
Something wiser.
Something deeply feminine.

And along with that shift comes the question:
Is it safe to fully step into my feminine energy now?
To release the constant hyper-vigilance?
To rest?
To receive?
To trust?

My answer is complicated, as it always is for mothers.

🌸 The Weight of Protection

My first instinct, the one that will always rule my body, is the protection and safety of my children. Their wellbeing, their emotional world, their freedom to just be kids is the pulse that guides nearly everything in my life. I want them to enter adulthood from a place of stability and opportunity, not survival and repair like I did.

Watching my eldest son struggle has reopened parts of me that were once raw. It reminds me why I burned the candle at both ends for years. Why I lived on fumes. Why I showed up in an overdeveloped masculine energy decisive, protective, doing, fixing because I had to. Because survival demanded it. Because chaos was familiar.

My nervous system learned to live in overdrive.

But slowly… gently… with better choices, healthier relationships, and a decade of self-work, something in me is finally exhaling.

🌿 A Slow Shift Into a New Season

I feel myself entering a new season of life, one where I want to be present enough to fully experience my days, not just survive them.

This is a monumental change from the rat race I lived for so long. The constant grind. The automatic overwhelm. The perpetual bracing for “what next?”

It reminds me of clean eating.
The more consistently disciplined you become, the more obvious the unhealthy habits become the things you once tolerated without noticing.

Self-work operates the same way. It’s uncomfortable. Brutal at times. You must be radically honest with yourself. And yes, there are moments where you almost miss the “ignorant, fuck-it-all” version of yourself who didn’t overthink every decision…

But then you remember the pain that came with that life.
The chaos.
The consequences.
And the long climb you made to rise out of that version of yourself.

You don’t miss the mess once you know the peace.

🌙 Postpartum, Perimenopause, and the Mystery of the Body

These days, my external life looks the same, but my internal world shifts constantly. My energy fluctuates wildly postpartum hormones, perimenopause, disrupted sleep, intuitive cycles… all of it is shaping me in real time.

Instead of fighting it, I’m learning to listen.
To honor the ebb.
To follow the flow.
To trust my intuition more.

There is so much to learn about being in a woman’s body, especially one that has endured trauma, birth, resilience, reinvention, and healing.

🔥🪵 Discovering My Doshas: Fire & Earth

Recently in YTT, we explored the doshas and the elemental energies of Ayurveda. This lit something up inside me.

I realized I am deeply connected to fire and earth:

• Fire in my drive, passion, intensity, and strength.

• Earth in my grounding, steadiness, love of nature, and need for stability.

I’ve always felt most of myself outdoors, especially in spring and fall.
The extremes heat and cold drain me.
It makes sense now. Too much fire burns me out. Too much earth makes me stagnant.

Balance is everything.
And balance is always changing.

Life is a constant recalibration, a daily re-centering as things are added, taken away, or transformed.

🌞 YTT: A Mirror, A Catalyst, A Healing

Yoga Teacher Training has become one of the most profound experiences of my life.
Not because it’s teaching me how to teach yoga…
but because it’s teaching me how to live yoga.

The self-reflection, the vulnerability, the philosophy, the embodiment everything is working together to shift me.
To soften me.
To strengthen me in new ways.
To reacquaint me with the woman I am becoming.

And the most exciting part?
I can feel that I’m only at the beginning.
This is just the first layer, the first doorway, the first breath of a completely new chapter.

✨ Final Reflection: Becoming Whole, Again

I am learning that stepping into my feminine energy isn’t about weakness it’s about trust.
It’s about reclaiming softness without sacrificing strength.
It’s about allowing life to be lived, not just survived.
It’s about healing the nervous system that once lived in fear and teaching it that safety can exist in stillness, not just in action.

This is a season of rediscovery, balance, and profound becoming.
And I am grateful deeply, humbly grateful to be here, learning, healing, and finally feeling whole again.